


After the Debs

by DAWK



Category: Normal People - Sally Rooney, Normal People - TV Series
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:55:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24513454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DAWK/pseuds/DAWK
Summary: Desperate to talk to her, Connell leaves Marianne a voicemail at the Debs. But what if he doesn't stop there?
Relationships: Connell Waldron/Marianne Sheridan, Marianne Sheridan/Connell Waldron
Comments: 18
Kudos: 92





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another story for you all, but this time it's a two-parter! This prompt was given to me by mustard_stain :) Please enjoy and leave kudos/comments/prompts for me, and give my other three Normal People fics a read if you haven't already! :)

Wiping his tears from his face with the sleeve of his shirt, Connell couldn't help but let out a quiet, wavering laugh to himself. 

It hadn't mattered. All of the secrecy, the hidden meetings, making sure no-one saw Marianne entering his house. He hadn't needed to do any of it. He had made someone he really loved feel utterly miserable, all for the sake of saving face and avoiding a few sarcastic comments from his friends. Asking Rachel to the Debs felt inevitable to Connell, although even as he was doing it, he realised how much he was just acting a part. He could barely look Rachel in the eyes as he asked her, spending the whole time feigning enthusiasm and making sure to play it cool enough that she didn't feel there was anything romantic about it. They were just friends, if you could even call it that. After sitting in her living room exchanging painful small talk with her father earlier that evening, Connell discovered that even being friends with Rachel was something he struggled to do. He didn't want friendships like this, never mind relationships. He wanted Marianne.

Marianne had fast become the only thing he really cared about, hell he'd even changed his college application after talking to her about it, finding himself getting lost in a perpetual daydream of starting a new life in a new place with her right next to him. All of it was gone now, of course. Marianne hadn't replied to his texts for the past six weeks and he had no way of finding out if she'd ever even listen to the sobbing voicemail he'd just left her. 

Unless...

Grabbing his suit jacket, Connell walked briskly down the road, past the venue where the Debs was being held and down a side street where he was quickly out of sight from any wandering schoolmates.  
He thought of Marianne sat alone all night, feeling as lonely as miserable as he did whilst surrounded by his childhood friends and deafening pop music. Going to her house at 1am was definitely not the best idea he'd ever had, but the past few hours had firmly proven to Connell that he had absolutely nothing left to lose. 

Reaching the field that Marianne's house backed onto, Connell broke into as fast a run as he could muster, his body beginning to physically ache with the anxiety that he'd managed to conceal for most of the evening and the few pints he'd had to calm his nerves suddenly catching up with him. Connell walked slowly up the driveway, trying desperately to catch his breath and to make as little noise as possible in case her family were at home and awake. He realised he hadn't met her mother or brother, not even a glance of either of them in the numerous times he'd been in their house throughout the course of their relationship. It struck him as odd, not that Marianne ever really spoke about them much. 

Walking to the front of the house, Connell struggled to get a good view of the entire building as it was shrouded in darkness. He could tell straightaway, though, that there was a light on in a room on the first floor of the house. Closing his eyes and rubbing his temples in a bid to get himself to picture the layout of the house, it didn't take long for Connell to work out it was, in fact, Marianne's room that the light was coming from. 

No cars were on the driveway, leaving Connell to assume that, miraculously, she was home alone. His heart ached slightly at the thought of her spending the entire night in silence with nobody to speak to, something he was keen to remedy whilst being almost certain she'd sent him away instantly. If she realised he was there at all. Connell grabbed his phone from his trouser pocket and typed out a text, adrenaline coursing through his veins to the point it made him feel nauseous:

"Hi, I'm really sorry but can we talk? I'm just at the end of your driveway if you're awake x"

Even as the text was being sent to Marianne's phone, Connell's brain went into overdrive as he analysed every word of it, how creepy and odd it could sound, the added kiss at the end, how he couldn't stop himself apologising even through the medium of a text message. Perhaps it was the English student in him, but realising how he sounded sometimes made Connell want to detach himself from his physical body and disappear completely. He felt a kind of shame that utterly engulfed him from the inside out, even though he knew most boys his age wouldn't flinch at saying and thinking things ten times worse. 

A few minutes went by, no reply from Marianne. The light remained on in the upstairs bedroom, but there was no movement to be heard in the house whatsoever. Connell sighed deeply with resignation and turned back to walk down the driveway once more. What had he really expected? Her to come running into his arms? It was farcical, not to mention that those actions were the exact opposite of everything he'd come to know about Marianne. Everything he'd come to love about Marianne.

As he walked away slowly, blinking back tears, Connell could hear his heart pounding in his ears. He thought about how he'd spend the summer, completely miserable and dodging questions and jokes about Marianne from Rob and Eric. Jokes that would only increase in intensity the longer she ignored him, he imagined. Connell was dragged out of his exhausted, self-pitying thoughts by a creaking noise that seemed to come from behind him. At first, he thought he'd imagined it, being so certain that this attempt to get Marianne to speak to him was the most futile so far. 

He hadn't imagined it, though.

Connell turned around slowly to hear the front door of the house creak open and the porch light switch on, illuminating Marianne who was standing there in a pair of grey tracksuit bottoms, cuffed at the leg and an oversized faded lilac t-shirt. Her hair was in a bun, exactly how it was when they kissed for the first time in the library just behind her, Connell thought to himself.

Marianne folded her arms and spoke softly, 

"Hi."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Here's the second and final chapter for you all to (hopefully) enjoy! Please leave kudos and comments below, it would mean the world! I'm also running slightly low on inspiration so any prompts would be most welcome!

"Erm hiya," Connell replied, taking a deep breath and approaching the front of the house once more, "I'm really sorry if I woke you."

"You didn't, I'd woken up already." Marianne felt herself wincing at how cold she was coming across before quickly remembering that she had every right to be, Connell was probably expecting it from her.

"Alright, yeah." Connell walked up to the steps of the house more cautiously than he'd ever done before, sitting on the wall facing Marianne as she perched on the one opposite. She squinted slightly as she took in Connell's features; his hair looked tousled and wild, as though he'd been grabbing at it nervously throughout the evening. Either that or Rachel had been running her hands through it all night. Marianne didn't like thinking about that. His eyes were their usual bright blue, but bloodshot from what she assumed was crying. 

Marianne had listened to Connell's voicemail when she had woken up half an hour ago, not that she was making it obvious in any way as they sat staring at one another. She'd felt angry hearing his words initially; it had been his decision to go to the Debs, to invite another girl instead of her and to continue texting her throughout the past few months when she'd decided to steer clear of everything that had caused her heartbreak in the first place. Yet somehow she felt responsible. She wasn't exactly plagued with guilt, but Marianne was aware of how much 'fitting in' meant to Connell. She'd let rumours about her swirl through the school corridors without a second thought, safe in the knowledge that she was intellectually superior to every single person who gossiped about her and always would be. For Connell, even the thought was life-ruining. 

She would have said yes if he'd have asked, of course she would. In reality though, the thought of walking into a room with everyone staring at her and them wondering what on earth Connell was thinking didn't really appeal. Maybe it was a blessing to have avoided the entire thing. Besides, judging from the despair in Connell's voice throughout the message he'd left her, Marianne gathered he hadn't exactly had the greatest night of his life.

"I listened to your message."

"Oh yeah? Sorry, I know it was a bit, uh-" 

"Why did you do it, Connell?"

"Leave the message, you mean? I just wanted to-"

"No, why did you ask her to go instead of me? Or not even that, why did you bother going at all? It's obvious you had an awful time of it tonight, judging by the way you sounded on the phone and then appearing here at almost two in the morning." Marianne gasped as she finally took a breath, relieved to have got out all of her pent up frustration in a few sentences, words that she had been desperate to say for months but hadn't had the opportunity or the nerve.

"I don't know to be honest, about any of it I mean." Connell shuffled awkwardly on the wall and ran a nervous hand through his hair before clearing his throat to speak again, "I felt like everyone expected me to, Rachel expected me to and I - I thought you'd still want to keep us a secret for now."

"I never did, Connell. That was you, remember?" Marianne's eyes narrowed and she felt a small sense of pride for not backing down instantly. If it had been up to her, none of this would have been shrouded in secrecy. The first time Connell kissed her, she wanted to shout it from the rooftops and although it seemed exciting at first, the idea of their relationship being hidden away for so long made her feel as though she should be ashamed of herself, the way Connell seemed to be ashamed of her.

"Yeah, I am sorry about that. I really am, Marianne." Connell took a deep, shaky breath and looked up from his shoes directly into her eyes. "I never meant to make you feel like I was embarrassed by you, I think I just get anxious about mixing...this, with people at school, you know? Mind you, they all knew anyway apparently, so..." he laughed to himself, suddenly aware of how ridiculous the events of the evening had become.

"They all know? Well I didn't tell anybody if that's what you think, honestly I didn't." Marianne crossed her arms tighter across her body, the chill of the night air making the tiny hairs on her arms stand on end.

"No I don't, I just think we were probably a bit more obvious than we thought we were being. Not that any of it matters now, like."

"Mm, I suppose."

Connell cleared his throat, moving pieces of gravel around on the ground with the tip of his now scuffed dress shoes. "I would like to, keep seeing you like, if that's something you would want to do. Obviously it's fine if you don't, I know I've been an arsehole and you probably can't stand me anymore. It's fair enough to be honest with you."

"Would it be different this time? Supposing I agree to it, of course." Marianne tried her best to suppress a smirk as she watched Connell stand up, moving to sit close enough next to her that their shoulders were touching.

"Yeah, yeah it would be. I don't want to hide it anymore. You made me really happy, Marianne. Still do."

Marianne bit her forefinger as she thought quietly, "Could we go to the beach again? I'd like that."

"Sure, aye. Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow sounds good to me." she turned her head to look directly into his eyes, surprised to find he was doing exactly the same. 

"Mm, I'll pick you up at 10?"

Marianne nodded as a huge grin spread across her face, "I'll see you then." She leant forward and pressed the gentlest of kisses onto Connell's lips, letting him know he was forgiven, for now.

Connell laughed, this time out of sheer relief rather than nerves, "Goodnight, Marianne." He stood up to finally make his way home, eager to get to sleep so that morning could roll around now that it brought with it new hope for their relationship.

"Night, Connell." Marianne smiled, walking back into her house and closing the door. 

The night hadn't turned out quite as she'd expected it to and she'd definitely need to lie down to process everything that had occurred in the past twenty minutes. It almost felt like it hadn't happened at all, something she'd just dreamt up. She thought the next time she'd run into Connell Waldron would be at Trinity College, both of them being in entirely different stages of their lives, with different friendship groups and opposite ambitions in life. But no, he'd been thinking about her this whole time. Closing her eyes in an unlikely attempt to get some sleep before morning rolled around, Marianne thought about what the future held for them both. She highly doubted Connell would change suddenly; he had always been inherently shy but it was one of the things she found so enchanting about him. 

They'd probably both make a mess of things in their own way all over again, but Marianne found herself feeling nothing but grateful for another chance of doing so.

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued...
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave comments/kudos and part 2 will be up very soon! :) x


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